Aspiring To Be Mary

Brian and I were young in our relationship and thrilled to be able to go on a company cruise to the Bahamas! It was a true adventure as neither of us had ever been on such a luxurious and exciting vacation!

One afternoon we were basking in the warmth of the near equatorial sun at an open market area. Our ship was docked for supplies and we had a couple hours to devour more of this laid back culture. We enjoyed sitting lazily with one eye on each other and the other skimming the crowd.

You see a lot of different kinds of people milling about and blending in; but, one woman caught my attention. She was tall and big waisted and wearing a belt to accentuate it. She looked fine, but it bothered me. It was certainly something I would never feel comfortable doing with my similar thick, pillar-like waist area. I figured her for at least 60 as I continued my scan. Ouch! Another fashion blunder; knee highs rolling down her calves. I was shaking my head when her tall, handsome husband lumbered over to bring her to meet us. I had missed his presence. It was newly acquainted Bob from work. As the couple approached though, I realized something else that wasn’t quite right; his wife’s glasses. Sunglasses? No wait, not just sunglasses; she had her regular prescription glasses on underneath! My initial fear was that I would gawk and giggle. But, I quickly sobered up as I realized what a delightful woman Mary was. In addition, it was apparent during our brief conversation that Bob was still crazy in love with her after 40 years of marriage!

I may have been 30 years old then. I have just turned 50. It’s crossed my mind more than once that I’ve failed to jot down the first note about this aging milestone in my life. It hasn’t been sad or traumatic. But, I’ve had this feeling inside….okay, I’ve had many and often violently conflicting feelings inside. The most predominant one has been a strong need to finally be undisturbed by the constant nagging of satisfying everyone around me! Exhaustion overtakes me just thinking about it!

It wasn’t until my mind traveled back to this brief encounter that I realized its true life value. The vision of hefty Mary and her double glasses and those hose rolling down her legs suddenly made my most grandiose wish the ability to walk through the rest of my days as uninhibited and comfortable with myself as this enjoyable woman surely was!

People encourage how important it is to do the right things for your self without concern for how others might perceive them. I think I’m ready. I want to be just like Mary!

Written By Teri Lee
March, 2005