Where Are The Lightbulbs?

I hear her muttering under her breath through the phone "I bought them. I remember them being scanned at the store. They definitely went into the bag. From here I can even see the bag I brought home. Yep, there’s the napkins. Where are the light bulbs?"

“Okay,” she hollers at her husband. “You can take your shoes off now. I can’t find the lightbulbs!”

I’m chuckling! Thank goodness it isn’t just me! I had once questioned if that might be the case, but not anymore. Nope! I’m talking to my friend, Denise, and I hear an echo of my own all too familiar mumble of confusion. She is desperately searching for something she just had in her hands a few minutes ago! I’m screaming inside!

Am I delighting in her despair? Absolutely not! But, I do let out a big sigh of relief! For example, I’m preparing last night for a big day at work. I’m in charge of our Operation Feed Campaign and our cookout finale was today.

I had a list of ‘day before’ items I very conscientiously picked up last night; cheese, lettuce, and twelve 12-count packages of buns. Got ‘em. Left the buns in the back of the car spread out in a single layer because every one knows if you stack fresh buns, they become smashed and misshapen.

I didn’t make my 10pm bed check last night making me very, very tired this morning. The dog was out of luck. No morning walk this day. Checking the garage, I smiled inside. Dear, sweet, Brian had loaded the car…but, wait. Where are my 144 buns? Oh, there they are; all squished together in two huge white bags! Frustrated, I grabbed the bags and relieved them one dozen at a time; inspecting each one almost moronically. They were laid gingerly back into single file; all ten of them. Ten? No way! I bought 12 of them last night! I counted 12 into my basket. I told the check out lady with confidence to charge me for 12. I put them in the cargo area, in a single layer and there were 12. What the heck happened to packages number eleven and twelve? I ran upstairs to interrogate Brian who was still in an early morning daze. He assured me that he had not sat down and eaten two dozen buns.

This isn’t the only time something like this has happened here lately. Earlier this month there was a bake sale and I was baking to my hearts content. Yum! One week into the South Beach diet and I had five dozen cookies, two German chocolate cakes, 18 yellow and 18 devil’s food cupcakes cooling on the table. My son descended from the room no mere mortal could tolerate to enter, absolutely starved. (The wafting odor of cupcakes fresh from the oven is a great way to drag a guy out of his teenage solitude.) Discovering these treats were totally off limits though took the lift out of his grin and his room door quickly again said Do Not Disturb!

I iced the german chocolate cakes and yellow cupcakes with Hershey's chocolate frosting. Butter cream icing was the perfect topper for the 18 devil’s food still fresh from the oven. I whipped up a bowl and went to the table to complete my evenings work but instead screamed “Logan!! Get down here!!!”

He was convincing enough that it wasn’t he who stole and devoured 6 of my devil’s food cupcakes. I tried to believe it was the dog. But, Randy surely would have left tell-tale signs of sloppy saliva trails, or at least a few crumbs smashed into the carpet. These cupcakes had paper holders. All had completely vanished without a trace. To further throw me off their scents', Logan staunchly defended our beloved pet while accusing me of never having made more than 12 in the first place. Hmm.

All I can do is chock up the cupcakes alongside the missing buns. Darn that Denise though! She called back to say she had found her light bulbs!

Written By Teri Lee